STARS AND CARDS TAROTSCOPE (AUGUST 2015)

Leo (July 23 - August 21) You’re a bitch girl, and you’ve gone too far, but you know it doesn’t matter anyway. That someone special is looking to get with you but you seem to be doing everything you can to push them away. Remember you are a Leo, so beware dentists on safari... sorry, too soon?

Virgo (August 22 - September 23) Must be nice to know everything and do nothing. You are the one eyed man in the kingdom of the blind, but it’s time to see how clear your vision is in a 20/20 world. Change has never been the problem, how you handle change is.

Libra (September 24 - October 23) Big changes on the horizon. You have been problem free for a while but that’s about to change. The apple cart for both family and career is about to be upset. Is it a problem or an opportunity? Only you can decide.

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) You can’t do it alone- time to end your isolation and start to nurture an idea that is important to you. Even Chuck Norris needs people around him to win the fight; usually these people take the bullets, knives and explosions, but hey, there is no I in Team

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) Congrats! You have all your ducks in a row; your finances are in order and you are rested and ready for action. As the Boy Scout motto tells us, “don’t ask don’t tell.” No, wait. Wrong organization. “Be prepared,” that’s the words you’re looking for.

Capricorn (December 23 - January 20) He who hesitates gets the broccoli and maple donut. You have put off till tomorrow what should have been done last week, and now your ship has sailed. Don’t cry over that spilt milk, let the fourteen cats that you have lick it up. What, don’t have 14 cats? Don’t worry, you will.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 19) The island that you are is sending the wrong message to the people that know you. The great willow tree is great because it knows how to bend while others around it snap in the hurricane. Two wrongs do not make a right, but two Wrights can make an airplane.

Pisces (February 20- March 20) There are the “Haves” and the “Have Nots,” and you are the King. Unfortunately it’s the King of the Have Nots. You have no money in the coffers and no Queen at your side. Time to decide if it is serving in heaven or ruling in hell- what fate is the one you make?

Aries (March 21 - April 20) He came across a young man on a fiddle and plying it hot, he jumped up on a hickory stump and said ‘Boy, let me tell you what...” Obstacles in your way are about to be removed. The hitch is, are you willing to pay the price to reap the rewards?

Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Respect not earned will never be given. As you reach your goal and celebrate your victory, who will be there to celebrate it with you? A hollow victory may not be as sweet, but the scenery will change for you. Bottom line Taurus, don’t feel bad about being the lead dog.

Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Take a page out of the Trumpster’s playbook... Be bold, be decisive, and no apologies. Advice is for suckers, and you don’t need it. So while everyone thinks you’re arrogant, the dirty little secret is you’re just living life as a celebration... because you can.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22) It has fallen in your lap... an incredible opportunity has presented itself and you did nothing to inspire it nor put an effort into making it happen. UnF#@&ingbelievable. The only justice in this world is that you will most likely be too apathetic (heavy on the pathetic) to take it... I dare you to prove me wrong.

* TAROTOSCOPE – The combining of Tarot Card Interpretation and Western Astrology Fundamentals to create a unique forecast for each astrological sign each month.