THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

If Halloween made this, our city, the land of levity and reckless abandon– masks, trappings, delirious wandering and condoms– then this season–the December, January, and virtually all-times-when-the-snow-is-on-the-ground-or-even-if-it’s-just-that-the-wind-is-blowing-and-the-air-is-cold, one…this Christmas season, this “holiday” season (that’s what they call it, “the holiday season”) is to be of a different manifestation. (Speaking of manifestations–there are many manifestations of the holiday season. Each is good. There is no single manifestation of the holiday season. For instance, I, the author, celebrate Christmas with my family for the holiday season. This is because my family has always celebrated Christmas together, during the holiday season. This is our tradition. It’s a family tradition, and it’s just one manifestation of the sense and soul that is this season’s holidays. The holiday doesn’t matter, what you call it doesn’t matter– it’s what you manifest it as, with your family. That’s all that matters. [And might we recall that we are all one human family? Yes, let’s recall that. We are all one human family– bunnies, kittens, and lizard people, too.])

We learned of ghouls. The ghouls were cool. Cool ghouls. But now the foolhardiness of the soul, lost, is to be replaced. The soul is to be re-found in tinkling bells, dearness to strangers, feast. It’s winter, that’s the truth. You need warmth– the warmth of clothes, the warmth of love. Give love. Give gifts. Do not give gifts from the store! Give gifts from the heart. And receive! This winter, when you hear about what is for sale, don’t forget that time and space are not for sale. You cannot spend time and space. You can only spend money– and it doesn’t get much. Even, converted into gifts, gifts meant from the heart– money doesn’t get much. It doesn’t mean much. Below you will find a catalog of places and times that I have curated for you, like a docent, or a little elf (a little elf!) for you to go amidst the commerce and snow to share some warmth with your family and friends. I might sound preachy, but I’m not giving advice. I’m just saying: go someplace. Go someplace cool. Get your loved ones on the phone; make a plan to go be with them somewhere cool. Here are the times and the places where you might find yourself, this festive season, with the ones you love, one place or another that is cool. Peel away these events as you would peel away the gilded metallic lids from the enclosed chocolate-holding cavities of an advent calendar. Inside, you will find the succulent joy of yum vibes. Let them nestle in to your heart, that you may fall asleep; sated, and fat as an Old Saint by the fire; surrounded by visions of sugar plums and the kindling sound of cheer.

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ROBERSON HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS The first thing you should do is, go home for holidays. Are you home? Good. Now, the second thing you should do is, go to the Roberson Museum’s website. It’s roberson.org. There are just too many holiday-related things happening at the Roberson through December and January for me to describe all of them in any sort of meaningful way. That said, I would like to mention in particular just a few of these many, many things. (There are 72 events, all in all, and all 72 of these events happen within a span of 17 discrete, respective days. Using a calculator I can tell you that that is a mean average of 4.2 events on any of the given 17 days. Here’s just one.) On December 26th– my mother’s birthday (Happy Birthday Mom!)–Irene Martin, a renowned performing and recording musician and for many years the official pianist for the Mississippi Baptist Convention meetings, will be performing at the Historic Roberson Mansion at 12pm. My mother loves piano music– I think it relaxes her. Piano music is beautiful! The Roberson Mansion is beautiful! It’s going to be an ethereal experience, the piano in the mansion, on my mother’s birthday. Wow! And another thing: Sunday, December 13th, the “German Choir” is performing in Dickenson West and in the Roberson Mansion, respectively (both of these places help to comprise what is the titanic Roberson Museum) from 3-4 pm. The German language is beautiful, and in my opinion has a dark, almost-chocolaty richness, with like, a nutty texture. So don’t miss the German Choir. It’s like a candy bar all the way from Germany that would cost a lot of money, but it’s free (all of the Roberson’s Home for the Holidays events are free and open to the general public). The Roberson is located at 30 Front St., in Binghamton, NY.

SIDECAR: A BINGHAMTON SPEAKEASY NEW YEAR’S PARTY Have you ever wanted to drink alcohol in a body other than the body that is your one and only, perhaps at times de-spiriting body? Bodies are situated as real in space in time, and they are only real in space and time. And drinking liquor, and beer, can at times feel like the act of sending one’s own corporeal, sensitive (or maybe not so much anymore) viscera through a blender, or into the path of a high-powered, small-whale-sized steamroller? Right? So this is your chance! You can escape the pain that is your viscera, and drink! Thursday, December 31st at 9pm Lost Dog is suspending space and time so that you can act sneaky and get drunk in the imaginative spirit of the 1920s prohibition-era speakeasy! Dress like you’re from the 1920s. Channel the energy of a hip nun, a bingo-playin’ cowboy, or a messy alcoholic. Well, maybe just be a messy alcoholic, if you are one. Just don’t get too messy, Missy! You’re not going to want to miss the performances. There’s going to be burlesque by Whiskey Tango Sideshow, jazz-era spoken word from Remstar, and live jazz and blues by Calya Calypso & Jan Deangelo. This is not to mention what is perhaps the most alluring spangle on the Speakeasy tapestry- Carousel’s very own Heather Merlis will be there, doing what Heather Merlis is always doing– being Heather Merlis! Yes! And if you get hungry… the kitchen has a password. Just saying. Lost Dog is located at 222 Water St, in Binghamton, NY. Tickets at bingpop.com. When the new year begins, your liver resets? Or is it… your conscience? Liver, conscience, bla bla bla. Be at Lost Dog and get lost in the bawdiness of it all.

HOLIDAY JAM AT THE RELIEF PITCHER FOR MADDIE SHAW Music heals. Jam heals. Whether it’s the sweet relish of lore your grandmother has salvaged and preserved in a jar, or the undeniably raspberry-sweet guitar licks preserved in time on the records of Jimi Hendrix’s psychedelic rock albums, jams are tasty and jams are good. They can make the world a little easier to palate; plus, they have been known to redeem toast from being a strange, brittle, flavorless consolidation of dust and wheat. On Saturday, December 26th on 197 Conklin Ave. in Binghamton, The Relief Pitcher is a hosting a holiday jam to raise money for Maddie Shaw, a nine-year-old girl from Binghamton who was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma Cancer on December 6th, 2013. The money from the jam will be used to help Maddie return in full health to her life as a fourth-grader who enjoys tumbling, cheerleading, and bike racing. That’s the holiday spirit, baby! Bring on the bike racing!

HANUKKAH HOUSE AT TEMPLE CONCORD You may have a Hanukkah house, or you may just live in one as a tenant. It may be that you live in a Hanukkah house with your mother, because you live with your mother, and she lives in a Hanukkah house. There are all kinds of Hanukkah houses out there! You may be wondering: Just what is a Hanukkah house? Do I live in one? A Hanukkah house is a house with Hanukkah stuff in it. Or, a Hanukkah house is a house with people who celebrate Hanukkah in it. Or, a Hanukkah house is both of these things at the same time! The possibilities are not endless, but they are wonderful, and if it’s wonder you’re after, then you’re going to need to get over to Hanukkah House at Temple Concord at 9 Riverside Dr. in Binghamton. Through December 29th from 12 to 4pm on Tuesdays and Saturdays, and from 4 to 8pm on Sundays and Thursdays, Temple Concord will feature an array of Hanukkah-themed exhibits and activities, making Temple Concord, in effect, the paradigmatic Hanukkah house, so to speak. This year’s theme is the 65th anniversary of Temple Concord and its Sisterhood. There will be displays of menorahs, dreidels, and yamulkes; a miniature recreation of life on the Lower East Side of New York City at the turn of the century, and a “Kids Place,” with hands-on learning games, books, puzzles, and Bobbie King’s dollhouses. So if you’re looking for Hanukkah, or dollhouses, then go to this house! Also: don’t forget to visit the miniature-size recreation of Hanukkah House in your candelabra-lit heart.

SANTACON IN BINGHAMTON Old Saint Nick’s spirit is alive and well. Just look around at the people exhibiting the kindness of the spirit of Christmas! And if you get a chance, take a gander at all of the people who are dressed like Santa Claus. December 5th they take to the streets for Santacon, Binghamton’s one and only mug-centric, Santa-themed bar crawl. Have you ever seen the movie Bad Santa? It’s a funny movie! I am wondering which came first: Bad Santa or Santacon. Maybe Santacon came after Bad Santa? So that by being merry, people have an opportunity to redeem the concept of Santa Claus drinking alcohol? I mean, why can’t Santa Claus drink alcohol? Santa Claus can do anything! There is a time and a place for Santa Claus to drink alcohol if he wants to, and it doesn’t have to resemble the actions of Billy Bob Thornton’s character in the movie Bad Santa! JT’s, Tom & Marty’s, The Rat, Uncle Tony’s, Venue and Cafe Oasis are sponsoring this year’s Santacon, with mug sales and drinks ensuing. Doors open at 12pm. Be merry, drink, and practice iconoclasm in only the most intuitive ways. You don’t want to be going down any chimneys.

NEW YEARS’ EVE STATE STREET BLOCK PARTY BY SOCIAL This year, Binghamton’s Social on State Tapas Restaurant and Bar, located at 201 State St., has conspired with the city to shut down all of State St. for a huge, rollicking New Year’s block party. So you can’t bring your car to the party! It’s a no-car party! No cars only! Meaning: you’re going to want to wear your dancing shoes. Not your car shoes. A seventy-five foot ball drops at midnight. Live entertainment starts at 9pm. There’s a private, all-inclusive VIP party you can get into, but you have to call Social if you’re interested in that (their number is 607-296-4017). Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions? Maybe you can think about them as you watch the ball drop. The ball: shiny, corporeal. Your resolutions: weird abstractions of the ego. Will it all shatter, or simply come to a safe halt? There’s no telling! But it is probable that the organizers of this event have taken precautions against the ball crushing people’s bodies or anything like that, so this New Years you can at least resolve to feel safe. MORE TO SEE JAZZ GREAT REGINA CARTER SERVES UP SOME SWEET SOUTHERN COMFORT THIS MONTH AT THE ANDERSON CENTER A FOND FAREWELL TO THE MAESTRO: JOSE-LUIS NOVO, BEETHOVEN’S NINTH, AND THE CONTINUANCE OF CULTURE THE WINDS BLOW KANSAS INTO MAGIC CITY: AN INTERVIEW WITH DAVID RAGSDALE JAZZ JAMS WITH MILES AHEAD AT LOST DOG LADIE'S CHOICE AT OWEGO ORIGINALS MIKE DAVIS AND THE LAUGHING BUDDHA EPISODES IN GREENE ALPHA BRASS AT GALAXY BREWING Configure